It Hurts, But It Still Worth It For Me

     From the very first time i've decided this, i've understand the consequences. Cause i understand myself, my attitude in my love life, and it's always the same. I know that when i'm into a girl, i'll surely give her all my heart, and the consequences for that, if it succeed - Good, happy coupled life; but what if it fails? - depression, hurts way deep down into my heart. That's the consequences that i've always bear with, and most of the times are failure.

     I understands that i couldn't force her to like or love me. And i also know that, in her heart, there's still him inside. This is because in whatever she do, she thinks about him first, not about herself. She still has a heart for him and that's obvious but the thing is, why do i still step into the feeling of liking her so deep? Sometimes i just couldn't understand. But what i know is that, Yes i admit, i really do love her, and Yes, i wanna be the one she love too. That's why i had been always trying hard, to take over that place of the one in her heart. That's the only thing that i wish for, and the only wish that i could have ever made.

     And i know clearly everything that i'm doing. I know that i'm still gonna continue chasing her, continue being by her side, continue to share stories to her, continue to listen to her stories, continue to comfort her when she's sad, continue to wait till she sleeps every night before i sleep, continue to help her to revise, continue to become the angel that she mentioned, the one that stays by her side always. It's not what she wants, but what i'm willing to do for her.

     She told me that actually she has a little feeling towards me, at first i thought that phrase was just to comfort me, but when i stares into her eyes, i realized that she's not joking about it. In the very moment, i do felt comforted. And this gives me another reason why i shouldn't stop to chase her and to love her. I admit yesterday i've been thinking of letting go, but my heart doesn't allow me to. But after that simple phrase of confession to me, i've decided not to give up, but try even harder to touched her one day, until she finally say yes to me. Until the day that finally i could tell her how much i love her without knowing that she still loves someone else. Good luck!